Crystal Clear grew up in a patch of wild huckleberries. She was a huckleberry patch kid for sure! Crystal was home to north Huckleberry Land where most of the forbidden fruit grows. Huckleberry Land is not only famous for their forbidden fruit, but they are famous for their political offspring who dabble in backwoods shady deals! Huckleberry Land is a hoax. People think it is real, but it is not. Some folks confuse it with the Twilight Zone which is real. Besides consuming too much of the forbidden fruit, things really got messed up for Crystal Clear when her own mother was impregnated by the Congressman! That is when the folks from Huckleberry Land all got together and said, "Boy, is that broad out of her mind! We need to put her away!" Crystal's mother had to go to the Cukoo's Nest for a very long time! Crystal's half-brother, Iknowtoomuch, now receives an art subsidy check every month from the government so he will keep his mouth shut!"Jesus Mom! Why did you have to go screw around with the Congressman?"
"I had no choice, honey! The Republicans made me do it!"
Next: Crystal reports to the Police Gang Unit about Neanderthalman!
