Betty shops on Crystal's dime

"Crystal, I am so happy we could get together and go spend your husband's money, oops, I mean shop together today and get to know each other. Too bad about your frightful hair disorder. Do you want to shop for wigs?"

"Oh no. That's fine. I am taking my sugar pills and I suspect that my hair disorder will clear up soon. My hat works fine and besides, Frankncut, my hairdresser sold me a couple of tubes of shoe polish to cover up the bald spots."

"Neanderthalman had breakfast at the Coffee Cave the other day when I was cooking. He said that you needed to enjoy yourself and shop more. Shopping and spending money is good for you! It will take your mind off of that frightful hair disorder. You should buy this beautiful fur coat! After all, Neanderthalman is a successful man and he has built you a lean-to of willow branches! There are so many women with nice hair like myself, that would want your lean-to. You need to buy this coat so the clan members will look at the fur and not your hair!"

"That is a good idea, Betty! No need to draw attention to my hair condition. After all, Neanderthalman says it is my fault and I must remedy the situation. Next week I go back to Dr. Quackgrass so he can evaluate my hair progress."

"I am sure it will be much better, just as long as you keep using the shoe polish and take your sugar pills. You sleep in tomorrow Crystal, and grow some hair. I am cooking again at the Coffee Cave. I am so happy to be your friend!"

Crystal and Betty buy the coat and have lunch. Betty decides to cook Neanderthalman extra big ostrich eggs for his breakfast tomorrow and plans on letting him know that Crystal spends way too much money and is having an affair with Dr. Quackgrass!

Next: Neanderthalman is livid and seeks legal counsel to send Crystal to the Cukoo's Nest in Forest Grove.

Conspiracies always get bigger over coffee

Every morning the Cave Monkey Clan would meet at the Cave Hut. Neanderthalman was one of the regulars. He looked forward to his thick cup of caffiene! After all, he needed a 'perk me up' after his very kegful night! He also looked forward to Betty and her long wonderful hair who would serve Neanderthalman his coffee and cook his ostrich eggs! Betty had the hair he dreamed that Crystal would grow.

Betty also owned the Cave Hut where she served all of Neanderthalman's good buddies!

"Betty, I am afraid that Crystal had to go see Dr. Quackgrass over her frightful bad hair. Dr. Quackgrass has given her many prescriptions for this very serious disorder and she will have to go see him on a regular basis, so he can monitor her hair. I talked with Dr. Quackgrass over golf last week and he is very concerned."

"Oh, so am I, Neanderthalman! That is too bad about Crystal. I should go visit her. We could become friends and have scrapbook party luncheons! She is so lucky to have you, Neanderthalman! She has a lean-to made of willow branches!"

"That would be good if you became friends with Crystal. It is sad that her hair falls out, but that is not my fault. It is that terrible bad hair disorder. I hope it doesn't become so bad that I have to send her to the Cukoo's Nest in Forest Grove! I am afraid that her bad hair runs in the family and like her mother she will end up there!"

"Don't worry, Neanderthalman. I will become friends with Crystal so we can keep an eye on her and make sure she takes her sugar pills! I will go get your eggs, now." Betty whispers in Neanderthalman's ear as her long hair brushes against his face,"I am so glad you came in early so we could talk before the crowd gets here!"

The rest of the clan drag themselves into the Coffee Cave for the eye opener and of course a good look at Betty's hair. The early morning topic was the dinosaur hunt and the possibility that Neanderthalman might have to send Crystal to the Cukoo's Nest in Forest Grove.

Next: Betty and Crystal go shopping!

Frankncut catches the shorthairs

"Crystal, your hair has patchy bald spots! But don't worry, I will cut it anyway! After all, Neanderthalman is paying for it!"

"Oh, thank you Frankncut! I don't know what I would do if I could not get my hair done!"

"Well, I will fix you right up! We will just use a little of this shoe polish to cover up those spots! No problemo here for the Master Frankncut! So, are you taking your sugar pills? I heard at the local Coffee Cave this morning that Neanderthalman said you have a frightfull bad hair condition and Dr. Quackgrass is working with him to cover it up -- oops I mean fix it! So, make sure you take your medication, Crystal! Look in the mirror, see how that shoe polish works!"

"Oh, it does work! How much is it? I need three or four of those tubes!"

"I will throw one in for free, since you are such a good customer. One hundred and fifty bucks should do it for the cut and products! See you in a week or two, gotta keep those short hairs off!"


Next: The Coffee Cave

Cave Man Monkey Resort

Conspiracies always start at golf courses. Just a nod before the knee knocker signifies the colluding.

"Doctor Quackgrass, I am so glad that we are able to get together over this beautiful day of golf so we could discuss my wife's disorder of bad hair. It is a frightful condition I am afraid. Her hair does not hold up to a good drag, thus it falls out in my hands and ruins my day. I expect her to take care of it because we know that it is the woman's duty to satisfy Neanderthalmen and after all, I offer her a lean-to of willow branches. I am a Neaderthalman of many assets! I also belong to the very respected Tree Mafia Gang and I have a brother in the Police Gang Unit! I am also well connected with the Cave Monkey Clan. She may be like her mother, and if she does not grow hair, I fear she may end up at the Cukoo's Nest in Forest Grove. After all, it is not my fault her hair falls out."

"I understand Neanderthalman. I will document your concerns in her chart and we will make sure Crystal takes her sugar pills. I was also married to a woman with bad hair. I will work in your best interests, I mean your wife's best interests. Also, thanks for the use of your condo this weekend, I needed the break."

Dr. Quackgrass nods as he makes par on his knee knocker.

Next: Crystal makes an appointment with her hairdresser