"God, I have had enough of this crap from Neanderthalman! I do the best I can to grow long hair and he continues to belittle, mock, and humiliate me because the hair that I have now, won't stand up to his demands of me! I think I drag just fine. I will show him, I will get a wig! But first, I am going to the Police Gang Unit, and I am going to report him! I don't care if his brother is part of the Police Gang Unit and most likely affiliated with the Tree Gang Mafia and the Cave Monkey Clan. I am doing it anyway!"Crystal makes the phone call to the hair crisis unit!
" Mr. Sheriff Iliketobeat'emtoo, I need to report Neanderthalman! He is making my life miserable! He says I am not worthy of him because my hair is not made of the locks of Samson and he continues to threaten me with the loss of my hairdresser! I want you to do something about this now!"
"Crystal, you have to be joking. Neanderthalman is related to Deputy Iputmywifeawaytoo! It is impossible for us to help you. You need to go back to Neanderthalman until you are bald, then we may be able to do something. You might consider going to a doctor who might be able to help you with your problem. I would refer you to Doctor Quackgrass. In the meantime, grow some hair!"
Next: Crystal goes back to Neanderthalman.
